Joyful Sorrow

When I was getting trained to come to Sierra Leone, they might of mentioned having to be flexible. Living in a culture that is event oriented instead of time oriented, we have to become flexible. However, I don't think they mentioned anything about having to have a flexible heart...

I went to Crough Bay (Sierra Leone's largest slum) last week. I went in knowing it would be difficult, knowing what I would see would reflect the very worst of Sierra Leone's poverty, mortality, and health statistics. I was not prepared however to meet Fatmata. Her breaths were shallow, her skin clammy with beads of perspiration above eyes too weak to open. Her voice was hoarse, barely a whisper, as she said the name of Jesus. My hand shook as I placed it on her tiny arm, out of my heart poured words that were not my own but God's. We asked for God to perform a miracle, that he might be given  glory but knew her soul was mere hours or minutes away from dancing with Jesus, singing out his praises. In that I found peace and joy. Amid this deep deep sorrow for a life too young to depart from the world, I found God's comfort in knowing she was His child he cared deeply about. She was not some forgotten statistic, she wasn't one more life pulling down on Sierra Leone's already too young average life span, but a daughter of the Most High King.

 Psalm 18:19, “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me
 because he delighted in me."

The family I stay with in Makeni just lost their niece, a beautiful girl who was full of smiles.
 A dear friend, Elizabeth, lost her sister this past week. I have had moments here of asking
 why, struggling with the unfairness, shedding tears, and crying out to God. He has given
 me inexpressible peace when I come before him. It has lead to incredible moments on my
 knees and in his word. I slowly come to understand, and then have to relearn it over and
 over again that our God is the one who calmed the waves, I just need to have the faith in him. 

As we approach the easter weekend, I am humbled and joyfully sorrow-filled. I am not
 worthy of his grace, I often forget the one who saved me, the reason I have life. There is no
 other place to be more humbled and joy-filled than at the foot of the cross. 

1 Peter 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

Psalm 126 

When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, 

   we were like those who dreamed.

 Our mouths were filled with laughter, 

   our tongues with songs of joy. 

Then it was said among the nations, 

   “The LORD has done great things for them.” 

 The LORD has done great things for us, 

   and we are filled with joy.

  Restore our fortunes, LORD, 

   like streams in the Negev. 

 Those who sow with tears 

   will reap with songs of joy. 

 Those who go out weeping, 

   carrying seed to sow, 

will return with songs of joy, 

   carrying sheaves with them.