Joyful Sorrow

When I was getting trained to come to Sierra Leone, they might of mentioned having to be flexible. Living in a culture that is event oriented instead of time oriented, we have to become flexible. However, I don't think they mentioned anything about having to have a flexible heart...

I went to Crough Bay (Sierra Leone's largest slum) last week. I went in knowing it would be difficult, knowing what I would see would reflect the very worst of Sierra Leone's poverty, mortality, and health statistics. I was not prepared however to meet Fatmata. Her breaths were shallow, her skin clammy with beads of perspiration above eyes too weak to open. Her voice was hoarse, barely a whisper, as she said the name of Jesus. My hand shook as I placed it on her tiny arm, out of my heart poured words that were not my own but God's. We asked for God to perform a miracle, that he might be given  glory but knew her soul was mere hours or minutes away from dancing with Jesus, singing out his praises. In that I found peace and joy. Amid this deep deep sorrow for a life too young to depart from the world, I found God's comfort in knowing she was His child he cared deeply about. She was not some forgotten statistic, she wasn't one more life pulling down on Sierra Leone's already too young average life span, but a daughter of the Most High King.

 Psalm 18:19, “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me
 because he delighted in me."

The family I stay with in Makeni just lost their niece, a beautiful girl who was full of smiles.
 A dear friend, Elizabeth, lost her sister this past week. I have had moments here of asking
 why, struggling with the unfairness, shedding tears, and crying out to God. He has given
 me inexpressible peace when I come before him. It has lead to incredible moments on my
 knees and in his word. I slowly come to understand, and then have to relearn it over and
 over again that our God is the one who calmed the waves, I just need to have the faith in him. 

As we approach the easter weekend, I am humbled and joyfully sorrow-filled. I am not
 worthy of his grace, I often forget the one who saved me, the reason I have life. There is no
 other place to be more humbled and joy-filled than at the foot of the cross. 

1 Peter 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

Psalm 126 

When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, 

   we were like those who dreamed.

 Our mouths were filled with laughter, 

   our tongues with songs of joy. 

Then it was said among the nations, 

   “The LORD has done great things for them.” 

 The LORD has done great things for us, 

   and we are filled with joy.

  Restore our fortunes, LORD, 

   like streams in the Negev. 

 Those who sow with tears 

   will reap with songs of joy. 

 Those who go out weeping, 

   carrying seed to sow, 

will return with songs of joy, 

   carrying sheaves with them.

Be Joyful in Hope, Patient in Affliction, Faithful in Prayer (Rom 12:12)

There is certain moments you feel a literal tug on your heart, a moment when the Holy Spirit speaks to you or through you. I met a beautiful girl named Saio. She lives in Masongbo, a village that is quite a distance from town, distant from resources and opportunities. She has some disabilities that have limited her physically and mentally. She did not say a word but stood there, I felt her body ease as I laid my hands on her and told her she was beautiful, a child of God. I felt I needed to do more later after I had left. I later had the people of the village saying that I had befriended the demon, I inquired and realized that they meant Saio. It broke my heart and I told them that she is beautiful, God made her and he loves her and calls us to love her. They laughed, while I felt my soul aching. I am not sure what I am called to do yet but I have asked to visit the village when I come back to Makeni. I want to spend time with this little girl, to let her know that she is a child of God and dearly loved by him. Please be lifting her up in your prayers.

I have been inquiring as to why they believe that children born with disabilities are demons. The explanations I received branched from many superstitions. There are stories that people take these children to the bush where they then turn into snakes and slither away. This leads to many of these children being taken and left out in the bush. If the child is not neglected they are treated very much as outcasts even amongst the family. 

I don't know where this tugging on my heart for children with disabilities will lead, I have several friends who work with people to disabilities but in the towns, not the villages. I hope to spend more time with Saio, with her family, her village, love on them, educate them, pray with them. God loves all his children, I need to be the physical embodiment of this for Saio, for many, as we all should be.

Please be praying also for my friend Marie who just lost her sister, I met her sister once and she could not have been more than ten years old. She got sick quickly and when I called to check on how she was, I received the news that she had passed. I have never before had so many griefs around me in such a short time span. It is no surprise then when I ask the kids in our program what they want us to pray for they nearly always answer health for their family. A friend said, "Your heart has to be flexible here, if it were to always be breaking you couldn't take it; yet you can not become numb or cold to it, but to grieve as our father in heaven is grieved."  

There is much to be joyful about as well! The Hope for Children outing went extremely well. Over 60 of the Makeni kids turned out. They breezed through the bible quiz, enjoyed food, and singing. Other children (likely street children from the looks of their dirty and torn clothes) started to gather around us and as I finished passing out rice and sauce for our meal I went to give some to the other children, our Hope for Children kids already had given heaping platefuls of food to the kids. My heart warmed at our kids living out compassion for others. 

Our neighbor kids had sports yesterday and they cheered and rooted for one another. Our kids had a blast, as did I while watching them. I got to hold a small baby for quite some time to give a young mom a break to watch her son in the sports. The little boys name was Abraham and he smiled and cooed while I talked to him. I am so filled with joy and peacefulness while I am around the beautiful children here. Despite the pain and heartaches, there is comfort and peace that the Lord is also blessing us with during these trials. 

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, Rejoice!